Ancestors

Written by Sophie 🎲🧩🏳️‍⚧️ on 2025-01-17 at 15:49

Omfg I just realised something amazing and I genuinely think it can change the world for the better:

Chuck Norris facts can be told as Keanu Reeves facts.

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Written by Log 🪵 on 2025-01-17 at 16:01

@Sophie I once met an old roundhouse kick that told me the same story several times in a row about riding Keanu's foot with three other roundhouse kicks at the same time. Highlight of its career.

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Toot

Written by Log 🪵 on 2025-01-17 at 16:05

@Sophie Keanu's one inch punch is so powerful that its metric conversion can also break boards.

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Descendants

Written by Log 🪵 on 2025-01-17 at 16:10

@Sophie Whenever Keanu does have a beard, there is still a chin there and not additional fists. But his chin does hide a garrote, three throwing knives, and a meteor hammer in there.

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Written by Log 🪵 on 2025-01-17 at 16:21

@Sophie Keanu does not kick ungodly amounts of ass. Keanu kicks gluteals, because he is so respectful of the animal rights of donkeys.

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