As someone who feels let down and depressed about politics I usually avoid posting about it as it is never good. However, with our UK prime minister showing support recently for D.T, and the subsequent comments by D.T about the tragic events in the US air crash being due to DEI, I need to put something down. As he lists the varying disabilities that could be employed by the air traffic organisation, he is pretty much listing types of people he defines as incompetant and unable to be of value to society. Anyone supporting him therefore supports this view, which is disgusting and ablist and dehumanising. I hope our countries leader, companies (including mine), and the whole world stand up against this. It is hard enough for those with a #disability understanding their worth, without an elderly bully personally labelling them, and not being shunned for it.
We all have a value, we all have rights, and disability does not define you.
[#]dei #disabilityrightsarehumanrights
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Update on life in the moment, mh etc.
Far better at ranting, but sometimes find condensing it into a poem allows some small acceptance of the thoughts.
[#]actuallyautistic #mentalhealth
Spoon questions (27/01/25)
Got a call back from the GP,
new one as always,
listens to my bleak answers to
standard screen boxed questions,
and ups my dosage to the upper limit.
You know the questions,
how often have you felt...
how is your sleep...
have you had thoughts...
have you made preparations...?
I have answers for these,
but I am out of spoons.
My middle one has spoon trouble,
but it seems when they do,
they have time and space,
recovery, with toasted cheese posted
directly to their cosy bed,
but I get by on whatever cutlery I find,
while I grind through days,
thinking too much
about nothing good.
https://allpoetry.com/poem/18225588-Spoon-questions-by-Northfield
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Sharing from
https://bsky.app/profile/thinkingautism.bsky.social
Some autistic people can speak, & some need to communicate in other ways. Some autistic people also have ID, and some autistic people don’t. All of these people are autistic, because there is no right or wrong way to be autistic.
autisticadvocacy.org/about-asan/a...
@actuallyautistic
[#]actuallyautistic
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Helpful advice for everyone, very relevant right now. @actuallyautistic https://thedailytism.com/the-autistic-guide-to-waving-exuberantly-without-accidentally-seig-heiling/
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Amidst my rants and mess of a life, I got a story published in an amazing zine.
Its independant, and any profits go to the authors, though I have nominated a mental health charity local to me, as I write to get things out of my head.
I'm not good at sales pitches, but I owe it to my co-authors. It is also very good!
Microwrites can be found here:
https://microwrites.wordpress.com/
The zine can be purchased here:
https://www.lulu.com/search?page=1&pageSize=4&product=andrew-shilcock-and-caroline-flanagan-and-jem-tenebris-and-misha-anker%2Cmicrowrites-issue-two%2Cpaperback%2Cproduct-dyj72gr.html&sortBy=PUBLICATION_DATE_DESC&q=Microwrites&adult_audience_rating=00
[#]indiezine #independantauthors #zine
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Pre-warning. #actuallyautistic rant incoming.
I really struggle with suspense. Nothing fills my brain with fire ants more than open ended scenarios and unknown outcomes. I do tell people this including my work colleages.
Almost a year ago at my annual work review I pitched a new job description at my boss. I backed it up with stats and evidence. I got enthusiasm, thanks, and a '6 months' period to put things in order (It's what I do anyway but they don't recognise it in my pay).
6 months later (6 months ago now) I asked for an update, having built my life to that date, and apparently circumstances with global things meant that some final things needed sorting, but 6 more months would see it ok.
In a meeting today I learned (likely without my manager knowing the ramifications of the event) that for one reason or another, another situation has occured and no recruitment changes can happen for 6 months.
I have 4 weeks till my next review, and I know what is going to happen.
I am really upset, and angry. I have had a year living on defined deadlines that then move, and it has really had an impact on me, and now I know it is almost certainly guaranteed to be the same again. I have a wife and children, so I cant just ditch and move on, which is my preferred method of dealing with problems in my life.
How do people not realise the impacts, when you tell them that suspense is something that directly affects a person and their mental health?! [Long scream into the void followed by silence where tears would be if I could make them]
:neurodiversity: :blob_cat_angry: :blob_cat_oh_no:
@actuallyautistic
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Just popped to my local library. Whilst playing the waiting game after:
I did research looking for peer support. Went today on an early lunch to the only think listed, run in partnership with an organisation and in my local library, only to find it is actually a space for people, often with learning disabilities, to connect. It's great, but not what I need, which means thetes nothing where I live.
Sometimes its so hard when you reach out, and as someone autistic, thats a big thing, only to discover there is no one there to reach out too. I love the fedi, but sometimes need real people.
I am too tired to start my own group, and even then, I would just do what I always do and help others, not myself.
Sorry for the vent.
Just needed to scream into the void, not in public as I am hiding with a coffee in an empty coffee shop.
Signing off to finish warm caffeine and then back to the joviality of work.
@actuallyautistic
:neurodiversity: :blob_cat_coffee:
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I think come Monday I will call my doctor. Reached overload today and had to hide from family upstairs. Lying on my bed with every fibre of my body clenched, and all the emotions I never have leaking out into my head, but no way to verbalise it all. Just about get it together, hugging my wife really tightly, put on some music as a distraction, and the amazing song Erase Me, by Quinn Christopherson (very recent recommendation by @dyani for which I am really grateful) comes on, as its on my last played, and every tear I haven't had in years just came out.
I don't like feeling sad and hopeless amongst a happy family, and I will look to get help.
I have recently restarted hurting myself, and I hate it, and all the complicated guilt tangled in it and me.
Thank you fediverse for being an open book, judgement free whiteboard, and safe place.
[#]actuallyautistic #mentalhealth
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Definitely feeling #actuallyautistic at the moment. Looking at the world like a big theme park with many different rides scattered all round, and just wanting to go home. Sadly, home is the theme park, and all the rides seem to lean to the right :blob_cat_oh_no: :neurodiversity:
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Fed up of all the news from everywhere right now. Taking wisdom and hope from my happy place, #discworld
‘... disharmony, like a cat, gets everywhere.’
Night Watch, Terry Pratchett.
Maybe one day, all the nice people will come together and calm everyone down. Till then, we will have to hold on to hope that those in charge leave something worth saving.
'You can’t go around building a better world for people. Only people can build a better world. Otherwise it’s just a cage.'
Witches Abroad, Terry Pratchett
[#]peace #humanity #hope #decencyinpolitics
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Just had a weekly call from my younger brother. He is severely mentally unwell, (delusional schitzophrenia among several other diagnosees) and currently in secure prison hospital awaiting people to decide where to shift him next. Each call is like losing him again. Its like my nan when she had alzheimers, but he remembers everything but is in a different world, and assumes you are there too.
Tomorrow is world mental health day, and I wanted to share the poem I wrote about my brother, knowing there are versions if him acriss the world, as well as families trying to cope. Keep talking and hang in there. #wmhd2024 #mentalhealth
Lost. 09/10/24
He's lost.
Rewriting the bible to put the science in,
it's missing all the quarks and gluons
and a 4D sphere turning inside out apparently.
He recommended a bit from Exodus,
24 or 25,
and I need to picture the mountain,
profound, he said,
then asked if I remembered the word in bold.
Then the beep sounded,
and he threw goodbyes and 'hope you're wells' at me before the line went dead.
Next time the subject will different.
But its always the same.
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Definitely hurtling through life right now. Too much on and not enjoying it all but can't get off the ride. Filled out a 'One page profile' as part of a special needs forum (I am there as an employer, not a user of Send services) but found I am not really dealing with my autism as well as I thought, and not getting what I need. Also worked out I am no good at confrontation and this leads to a cycle of doom. Was not expecting this, and though enlightening, has added more clouds to my world. Just keep plugging on and hoping for the best. (Sorry for the self pity, just needed to say it Ibthink) @actuallyautistic
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I often get told by my wife that I need to change as I am not suitable for public presentation, or that my hair needs cutting (I am fine with this as she fills in the gaps I leave :blob_cat_innocent:) I don't have much of a self image, and do not give thought to this. I am body concious, but to me that is completely seperate. Do other #autistics have similar experiences? @actuallyautistic
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Just moved from neurodifferent.me, my first amazin home in the fediverse. A quick introduction here in autistics.life.
I am an 80's born ASD father of 3, from the East of England.
1 of 3 Children diagnosed ASD and 1 in diagnosis process.
My ASD obsessions/challenges are a pretty rigid (but valid) sense of justice, morality and ethics, which impacts on everything I do, and brings me into conflict with a world that can pick and choose and even ignore social values.
I have had a lifelong battle with mental health struggles, and am medicated againat the worst of it.
The fediverse is my safe space, and I am so thankfull for it and all those I have met.
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