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This is your regular reminder that all engineering is political. Every time you build something you change the world, you shift it in some way. Every action to shape the world is driven by a desire to make the world into a new form.
Even if you aren't actively thinking about the politics of what you are creating and its impacts, about the community you're creating and its influence, you still are responsible for the effect you have.
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For folks interested in my creative/writing projects, I'm talking about those on bsky these days.
https://bsky.app/profile/sophiajt.bsky.social
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Wow this spam attack sucks. Anytime else getting it?
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Me: I can't transition fast enough
My body: We're given it all she's got, captain
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The Secret Trans Writing Lair has put together it's latest bundle... and I'm in it! It's a heck of a deal. 11 brand new stories for $6.
On a personal note, this is my first time selling one of my stories as part of a bundle. It was a lot of fun (and work) to write, and I'm proud of the result.
https://itch.io/b/2684/stwl-presents-the-fruit-of-our-efforts
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I had some dear friends bully me into removing "amateur" from author in my bios yesterday because...
I've started making money selling my stories! 🥳
I've also got three big projects in the works, which I hope to talk about soon. Honestly, I can't wait to share.
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If only they made loaves of bread for single people with object permanence issues...
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I did it!
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And I want code to make you feel. I want that to be part of the conversation about what we're creating.
One of the beautiful things about writing is that it's both technical/structural and emotional. You have the mechanical parts of how writing works, how plots are structured, etc. And the emotional components of how the artistry around that structure makes you feel.
What if code could be like that?
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There have been multiple music programming languages with this explicit purpose, to be things you can write an manipulate in realtime, perhaps even with a live audience.
I suspect, if I dive back into languages, I'm going to draw more inspiration from these kinds of languages as a starting point. I want to get to the point of having a conversation much earlier than we traditionally do, I want to be able to experience the results much more quickly and much more interactively.
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Programming often last these markers. You build a component that does a job, then build components from those components which themselves do a job.
In some ways, you can find ways you can have self-expression in code, but often instead you're looking for some kind of ideal - from make-it-work to an aim towards efficiency.
There are cool code-as-art projects, like some of the original experiments in live-coding in front of an audience where the audience can see code and feel the result.
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I'm reminded of the book The Elements of Computing Systems: Building a Modern Computer from First Principles, that goes from NAND to recreating Tetris (iirc). Even at it's most fundamental, grain-of-sand level, programming is about switches and building switches that do something more, and using those to build something more.
The building up sounds appealing, but it needs more humanity to it. Compared to painting, where every bit of pressure or brush stroke all get recorded in self-expression..
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I think one fundamental shift is that I don't want to sit and solve puzzles. That doesn't really do much for me anymore. I've kinda proven I can do that, but more importantly, it doesn't really give me a happy brain chemical to solve a logic puzzle.
But feeling through something and sharing does. It's a different kind of thing.
Perhaps there's a way for programming to be more about feeling than logic? I haven't a clue what that would look like. It seems to go against the fundamentals.
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The end state, I think is similar, to create something collaboratively that meets a need or creates something interesting.
I just wish I had a grasp on what that would look like.
I dabbled again recently with text adventure programming languages like Inform. Being able to use a language closer to English does feel a little better. In the end, it's still often similar to programming in other languages, but the process feels a bit more creative.
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Trying to navigate a different set of needs is certainly interesting and also very difficult. Perhaps there's a way to make programming more emotional and more engaging in a wider way.
There have been experiments in social styles of coding, pair programming, etc, which I've done, but the coding itself in its current incarnations doesn't really hit those buttons.
Maybe there are new ways of programming that do? What would they look like?
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I asked myself this morning what might get me interested in programming again, and the answer came back "if we could talk about emotions". For a while now, there's been a gulf between my programming life, and my need for emotional intimacy. For a time, I mixed both by being really close to the people I worked with, which was easier working with close friends with a good emotional bond.
But programming, the solving of problems, doesn't really scratch that itch for me.
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Current fave feature of mastodon: not marking notifications as read after you see them. Lingering, stale notifs are so... thrilling.
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Don't you just love the quality of Google search results these days?
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Finally starting to see the light at the end of the burnout tunnel.
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Was listening to an album I've heard at least 100 times and realised today it's got some pretty gender-y lines it it. From the band Genesis from 1973:
"Once a man, like the sea I raged
Once a woman, like the earth I gave
But there is in fact more earth than sea"
🤔
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