oh shit yeah Frank Sidebottom was on it as well
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feel like shit just want him back
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Anyway the wolves got their own spin off series and it was called Wolf It
This is exactly the sort of name I'd come up with if I was making all this up but it really was genuinely called Wolf It
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Eventually most of the characters had been eaten by the wolves. The wolves didn't just devour the characters, they memory-holed them as well, these characters just never got talked about again. It seems from interviews after the fact that these were the folk who walked out, but as a child it was just a horrifying reminder that life is fleeting, death comes at random and you won't be missed
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That was the pregnant lady who got thrown to the wolves btw
These pics are from a guy's retrospective on the series, it's here https://itsastampede.com/2019/06/15/i-revisited-whats-up-doc-after-27-years-it-was-a-bumpy-journey/
He sourced his episodes from youtube and he keeps saying "Such-and-such disappeared with no explanation and was never mentioned again," I think what happened here is that his youtube source edited out the Thrown To The Wolves bits because their absences very much were explained (they got thrown to the wolves) although he's right that they were never mentioned again
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There was behind-the-scenes bullshit going on, series 1 was great and everyone had a good time and then series 2 got screwed up by the producers and they kept dragging it on for years with everyone having a horrifically bad time, it was all live so stuff like this happened
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They threw one of the three main presenters to the wolves. She was PREGNANT.
This was the producers' way of handling her maternity leave but I was just staring open mouthed at the telly going 🦝 she was PREGNANT
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They had this segment where they'd throw someone to the wolves, these two guys here, Bro and Bro, the section was called "Thrown to the wolves." They'd throw a character to the wolves and the wolves would eat them.
I remember watching Baljit get thrown to the wolves and laughing, ha ha ha, I love this show, it's like a cartoon, folk can get eaten lol.
Next week, tune in as usual.
Where's Baljit?
No, it's like a cartoon, they're supposed to come back every week, right? RIGHT?
WHERE'S BALJIT
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🦝 ohhhhh yeah, Dan, you only remember the wolves and Baljit the hairy thing, you'd blocked out Mister Spanky and his roast beef waistcoat, and the 3,000 year old grandma
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🦝 I'm so glad I grew up in the 80's and 90's, our telly was WAY less sinister than the noseybonk-infested 70's
🦝 Like, I watched What's Up Doc on Saturday mornings, that wasn't scary, that was great. Man, I miss Baljit. Lemme search him up real quick.
🦝 ...
🦝 Oh, Wooly, right, those memories were REPRESSED, yes I remember now
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There were previous versions of the app that worked through email. Like, you'd send yourself an email, and it'd show up on here somehow, you're not sure how that worked. There were also versions that worked through blogs; if you were same kinda tech wizard, you've got your own whole blog, a whole website just for you, you could put Something on that website that'd talk to this app, and when you posted on your site it'd pop up in the app as well.
These different ways still work with the new phone-to-phone apps, and you understand that this is because the data is the same shape. Like, everything's got a subject and a post, sometimes the subject's called a title, whatever, it's a short bit followed by a long bit and a list of people who can see it, it can all fit in the same hole.
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🦝 I am literally a pinball machine repairman. The reason this app/system/culture does not exist in the year 2025 is because pinball machines keep breaking down.
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🦝 Oh, y'all think this is a story? You think this is fiction? This is INSTRUCTIONS
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⚠️ WOOP WOOP DANGER WILL ROBINSON ⚠️
This post has breached containment. It has been boosted by semi-celebrities and linked to from other websites.
⚠️ COMMENT WITH CAUTION, YOUR RANDOM THROWAWAY OFF-THE-CUFF REACTIONS AND JOKES ARE NOW INTENSELY PUBLIC. THIS IS NOT AN INTIMATE SPACE. ⚠️
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You scroll through today's posts and get to the Pam Chunk
The Pam Chunk is your phone's way of dealing with the Pam Problem; some folk post more than others. Jim only posts a couple times a week, and Pam posts twenty bloody times a day. So unless you follow a lot of folk who post about the same amount, your phone becomes The Pam Show.
The default behaviour of every app (that anybody actually uses) is of course "Show your friends' posts in the order in which they're made, no exceptions, no messing around," but the majority of apps also have some kind of Pam Compensation Mechanism.
The most common of these is to only retrieve the six most recent posts from any given friend's phone in any given day; hence, the Pam Chunk that jumps out at you around noon. Most days Pam remembers that anything beyond her sixth post today means that folk probably won't see her "Good morning," but some days you get Pam Chunk. Sometimes she posts "Please put your fetch limit up!" but most people don't know how to do that. It's in the settings somewhere, but nobody looks at settings.
The second Pam Compensation Mechanism is the more civilized option, but it totally messes up your timeline. It's called Take Turns, it goes and gets everybody's most recent post and shows them in order. Then it goes and gets everyone's second-most-recent post, and shows those in order. Then everybody's third-most-recent post, and so on. Everybody takes turns to speak, kinda thing.
It means that if you scroll far down enough you'll see a Jim post from last month on top of a Pam post from an hour ago. The further back you scroll, the more messed up the times get, but it means you see Everything that your friends posted. So yeah, it's an "Algorithm" you guess, but at least you know how it works and it's not hiding anything you want to see, so it can stay, so long as it behaves. You've got your eye on it.
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Half an hour later you compulsively check your phone and Jen's said "Wall looking good" on your post.
She must've spent ages trying to make that weird
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Anyway, enough ruminating around, time to actually make a post.
Subject:
Post: morning my lovelies, gonna paint that wall today
And you include a picture of the wall.
🦊 Send without a subject line? It's possible, but some apps will skip your post. [send as-is] [edit some more]
Oh yeah, thanks fox. You always forget the subject line because you don't know what you're going to write until you write it. That's just how your brain works.
Subject: wall morning
You idly wonder if there's a thing in the settings to put the subject hole below the post hole so you see it's empty before you hit the post button.
Anyway you pull down on the post button and let it go like a catapult and your post goes zhoooom
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You flip over to the Links tab, wrinkle your nose in disgust and flip back to Friends.
Every website is now the "Look at the horrible things" website. This is why anything that includes a link goes in the Links tab, it helps keep the bullshit quarantined, it helps put the focus of the app onto your actual friends. Some folk tried the "Link in the comments" trick at first, but the comments section has a links tab as well.
It takes a LOT of careful planning to design an app that doesn't instantly turn into the "Look at the horrible things" app.
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Some prick posted a multiple-post-long unCW'd USPOL thread and included in every post a link to some website that throws up a picture of elon seig heiling as the preview image. Two people I follow boosted different parts of the thread and chucked that pic into my tl twice in a row. Those are the last boosts I'll ever see from those two people. Fuck you, CW your USPOL.
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I spent 30 seconds looking at reddit today and every other post was a discussion on whether that particular sub should ban twitter links
pretty much everyone agreed
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text/gemini
