Toots for LoganFive@beige.party account

Written by Logan 5 and 999 others on 2025-02-01 at 09:23

Why are life lessons so hard? Why can’t some of them be soft and comforting, like a warm blanket wrapped around you on a cold day, and a hot cup of tea warming your bones?

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Written by Logan 5 and 999 others on 2025-02-01 at 09:14

If I can make enough people’s days,

maybe

it will add up

to months

or years.

Maybe

it will make

a lifetime.

[#]poetry

[#]micropoetry

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Written by Logan 5 and 999 others on 2025-02-01 at 07:42

Interviewer: Can you explain this gap in your resume?

Jesus: That was when I carried you.

Interviewer: into intercom Security.

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Written by Logan 5 and 999 others on 2025-02-01 at 07:32

Interviewer: Can you explain this gap in your resume?

Me: That’s when I was dead inside.

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Written by Logan 5 and 999 others on 2025-02-01 at 07:22

Interviewer: Can you explain this gap in your resume?

Applicant: Gap?

• interviewer pulls at the gap and makes the hole bigger to reveal a tunnel leading to the prison’s sewage system*

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Written by Logan 5 and 999 others on 2025-02-01 at 07:17

Interviewer: Can you explain this gap in your resume?

Me: That’s when I was a manager at The Gap.

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Written by Logan 5 and 999 others on 2025-01-31 at 04:03

Trainer: Welcome to our waterboarding session.

Employee: Wait, I thought this was onboarding?

Trainer: …Sure. Let’s go with that.

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Written by Logan 5 and 999 others on 2025-01-27 at 07:46

I changed my name slightly so now, if I boost someone, it will read “Logan 5 and 999 others boosted your post.” And how exciting is that!

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Written by Logan 5 and 999 others on 2025-01-27 at 06:02

Do I ask questions I intend to answer myself?

Yes.

Do people find it annoying?

Of course.

Is that going to get me to stop?

Probably not.

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Written by Logan 5 and 999 others on 2025-01-24 at 22:13

When you die, all your typos pass before your eyes.

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Written by Logan 5 and 999 others on 2025-01-24 at 17:53

I don't know why I enjoyed pretending to be Mark Ruffalo so much. It was a fun "character" to take on.

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Written by Logan 5 and 999 others on 2025-01-24 at 17:52

Just going to boost some of the old Ruffalo stuff. That was a good time.

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Written by Logan 5 and 999 others on 2025-01-23 at 19:24

I think the gamma radiation in my sandwich may have done something to me. 💚

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Written by Logan 5 and 999 others on 2025-01-23 at 19:14

A year ago, a great many people here gave me a great gift: being silly with me for my birthday. We all pretended to be Mark Ruffalo or played Mark Ruffalo hashtag games. I just want to thank you all again for such a lovely memory.

https://beige.party/@LoganFive/111817756652714217

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Written by Logan 5 and 999 others on 2025-01-23 at 19:08

Birthdays are also a great time for resolutions, New Age Resolutions. What do you want to do differently this time around?

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Written by Logan 5 and 999 others on 2025-01-23 at 19:04

Resolutions shouldn’t be limited to January 1st. You can reinvent yourself at any time. Try something new, reach for something more.

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Written by Logan 5 and 999 others on 2025-01-23 at 01:37

These toots were all written by AI.

Awesome Inspiration!

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Written by Logan 5 and 999 others on 2025-01-20 at 20:53

There is no point in watching a show you don’t like and where you already know the outcome.

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Written by Logan 5 and 999 others on 2025-01-20 at 20:34

“OK, everyone put your car keys in this bowl!”

• makes car key lime pie*

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Written by Logan 5 and 999 others on 2025-01-20 at 16:47

I try to meditate 10 min each day and get exercise in as well. Sometimes that’s running or walking or it can be a machine or class at the gym.

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