It's like seeing the inside of my head, but in an app.
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Keeping all my screenshots in Photos will never, ever get old.
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I can tell I love my job because I have a week off and... I miss working. This is sick.
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Thanks to the soccer ball going flat, I have discovered that a ball pump in Dutch is "Ballenpomp," which I find painfully delightful.
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Dog: (looks at me)
Me: "Okay, look, you can have a tiny bit of cheese. Tiny! But this is it."
Dog: (exists)
Me: "Look, fine, but seriously, this is the last bit."
Dog: (vibrates an atom)
Me: "Oh, go on then. Just don't tell the others."
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The thing they don't tell you about getting older is that one day you'll wake up and there'll be a weird gravitational field around your eyebrows, and they are now beyond your control.
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Was just reminded of the time I got on TechCrunch for breaking Flickr, which birthed a second award named after me and another friend. And the award for that one was a silver masturbating velociraptor who'd just... finished up. https://techcrunch.com/2010/07/20/flickr-awards-this-years-grant-pattishall-award/
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I said hello to a magpie, and it locked eyes with me and started walking over. I have seen death this day.
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The new guy at work called me "famski," and as someone who is down with the kids, I am fairly confident he has just adopted me and we're going to hit the slopes real soon.
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Hey, I don't remember giving consent for the weather to start warming up, what the fuck.
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Taking great pleasure in reminding the kids to like and subscribe after I give them their breakfast.
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I'm not saying I walk fast, but Pokémon Go keeps asking if I'm a passenger while I'm on foot.
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Still Life (Found Footpath Beer with Shadows)
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I am playing the new Star War (an early Father's Day pressie), and it is very good and very Star War.
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The Little Kid is learning about the solar system at daycare, and he thinks it's called the "Milky Wave," so I'm going to need everyone to go ahead and update their science textbooks now.
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Sorry, not sorry.
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One of my coworkers was born the year I registered waferbaby.com. This is getting out of hand.
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Only one of these is real.
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Completed the migration of our monolith at work from Bitbucket to GitHub today - pretty chuffed! Wired up the whole specs and deploy workflows myself, got people switched across, and nothing exploded. Good.
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What's the German word for "your kid's best friend is coming over to play, so you're frantically cleaning the apartment shortly before they arrive so her parents don't find out we're actually huge filth wizards?"
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