Starting tomorrow, I'm going to only go out in public wearing a house on my head. People don't like it they can pound sand.
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OH ALSO, how the hell am I supposed to remember these steps? Or do they think somebody's going to have a copilot reading the checklist as we drive fast and slow and stop and idle and drive some more lol. Would need to borrow the use of a track or very large empty parking lot.
"Obey all traffic laws and drive in a safe manner!"
Er, yeah. None of those steps would be considered driving in a safe manner on a public road.
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The emissions readiness drive cycle for this car is ridiculous. I'm trying to imagine doing this anywhere without getting pulled over or getting into an accident. For real:
Begin Drive Cycle
The vehicle should be driven approximately 7.5 miles within a period of approx. 23 minutes (1372 seconds) from a cold start. However, due to manufacture variations, it is necessary to perform only as much of the Drive Cycle as is necessary to reset the required monitors to a "Ready" status. Operate the throttle smoothly to obtain best results. Do not shut the engine off during the drive cycle.
CAUTION: Obey all traffic laws and drive in a safe manner!
NOTE: Extreme driving conditioning such as very high/low temperatures, rough roads and high altitudes may prevent some monitors from attaining a "Ready" status.
Step 1 (Engine Cold) Start engine, idle 20 seconds. Accelerate gradually and drive at 20-25 mph for 1 minute, varying speed.
Step 2 Accelerate gradually to 32 mph within 35 seconds. Decelerate to 0 mph in 10 seconds. Idle for 40 seconds.
Step 3 Accelerate at part throttle to 25 mph in 10 seconds. Cruise at 17-25 mph for 15 seconds. Accelerate gradually to 57 mph in 45 seconds. Cruise at 50-56 mph for 1 minute. Decelerate gradually to 0 mph in 40 seconds. Idle for 15 seconds.
Step 4 Accelerate at part throttle to 36 mph and maintain for 10 seconds. Decelerate to 0 mph in 15 seconds. Idle for 5 seconds.
Step 5 Accelerate to 30 mph and back to 0 mph within 30 seconds. Idle for 20 seconds.
Step 6 Accelerate to 36 mph in 20 seconds. Drive at 35 mph for 20 seconds. Decelerate to 0 mph in 15 seconds. Idle 5 seconds.
Step 7 Accelerate gradually to 26 mph and decelerate to 0 within 40 seconds. Idle 15 seconds.
Step 8 Accelerate to 27 mph in 40 seconds. Decelerate to 0 mph in 10 seconds. Idle 25 seconds.
Step 9 Accelerate to 26 mph in 15 seconds, maintain speed for 10 seconds, decelerate to 0 mph in 10 seconds. Idle 15 seconds.
Step 10Accelerate to 23 mph in 20 seconds, decelerate to 0.5 mph in 10 seconds (no complete stop). Accelerate to 28 mph and back to 0 mph (momentary stop 1 second) within 35 seconds.
Step 11Accelerate gradually to 34 mph in 45 seconds. Vary speed between 34 and 19 mph for 2 minutes. Decelerate from 25 to 0 mph in 25 seconds. Idle for 5 seconds.
Step 12Accelerate to 29 mph in 15 seconds, decelerate gradually to 0 mph in 45 seconds. Idle for 30 seconds.
Step 13Accelerate gradually to 28 mph and back to 0 mph (momentary stop 1 second) within 50 seconds. Accelerate gradually to 27 mph and back to 0 mph within 55 seconds. Idle for 15 seconds.
Step 14Accelerate to 24 mph and back to 0 mph within 18 seconds. Idle for 10 seconds. Accelerate gradually to 22 mph and back to 0 mph within 50 seconds. Idle for 8 seconds.
Step 15Accelerate gradually to 30 mph within 50 seconds. Decelerate to 0 mph in 10 seconds. Idle for 25 seconds.
Step 16Accelerate to 23 mph and back to 0 mph within 30 seconds. Idle for 10 seconds.
Step 17Repeat steps 1 - 16 once again. Recheck the status of the "Readiness Monitors".
NOTE: Remember, clearing DTC's or interrupting power to the ECM after the readiness monitors have been reset to "Ready" will require that the Drive Cycle be repeated.
Completing the Drive Cycle successfully one (1) time should reset most drive cycle monitors to a "Ready" status. However, there are "two trip" monitors, which require that the drive cycle be successfully completed two (2) times, to achieve a "Ready" status. Furthermore, systems which use averaging, may require the drive cycle to be completed more than 2 times. It is necessary to perform only as much of the Drive Cycle as is necessary to reset the required monitors to a "Ready" status.
End Drive Cycle
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Slowly coming to terms with the fact that I'm in a caregiver role. It's challenging, in ways I neither expected nor feel comfortable discussing with just anybody - like a mix of survivor's guilt and total overwhelm. I just wish our medical systems had better modalities for chronic conditions, and listened better to those who suffer from them.
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Got the passenger side of the front-end rebuild done. Good thing suspension components are such tiny fiddly things that don't need much force, especially on a dainty vehicle like an old Volvo station wagon. #ouch
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Half of being a #sysadmin is figuring out whether one is looking at needed settings changes or if they're just old spaghetti sauce left on the wall.
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Left an hour early for the airport, made the best of the time.
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In which a #carrepair job turned out to be worth it.
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I seriously cannot believe this is the guy who's supposed to fix anything.
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Night 2 of "I'm going to go to bed early. Ooh look - squirrel!"
Now my instance is bridged with my bluesky account. Yay.
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Oh right, the character limit. Fixed that too. Yippee! G'night.
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Yeah, had to upgrade. Just had to. Then had to upgrade everything else Just Because. Now it's after midnight and I was going to bed early tonight. Oops.
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Not me popping out of my cubicle like a defenseman on a hot line change and wall-checking the random C-level who happened to me walking by. No way could I ever be that clumsy... right?
There are reasons I prefer working from home.
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GenX aliens
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Today contained two pieces of good news, one political and one personal: Leonard Peltier is free. And I made it through the day without drinking. G'night.
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Literally my partner and I tonight:
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My January 20th so far:
Sleep in
Massage chair
Go check Internet, which is filled with clips of Elon Musk doing a Nazi salute as the crowd roars appreciation.
Massage chair for next four years.
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@danlyke was bored during a meeting and found this old commit, had to laugh.
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All my life my main limitation in terms of what I could do or not do was "are my muscles strong enough?" Now in my second half, that limitation has shifted: my muscles are perfectly capable of doing things that will damage the joints supporting them. I'm not used to this and keep hurting myself as a result. Any pointers on how to shift focus to avoid damage?
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🖕 Zabbix. That's it, that's the root. #sysadmin
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