MEMO:
Congratulations to Saeder-Krupp subsidiary ArianeSpace on their accomplishment of being the first aerospace company to land a moon on a man!
[#]Shadowrun
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MEMO:
The online outrage brigade is now targeting cranial bomb implants as inhumane and are calling for a universal ban.
Saeder-Krupp’s policy on cranial bombs is very robust and they are only installed after a long, rigorous, and legally protected Personell Improvement Plan.
[#]Shadowrun
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MEMO:
Hypernormalization is one of Saeder-Krupp’s core values.
Being a team player means checking your concerns about the magical plague/malevolent AI/riots you drove through on the way here/insect spirit outbreak at the door and doing your part to increase profit margins.
We’re a family. Your REAL family.
[#]shadowrun #mondaythoughts
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MEMO:
Just because I know better than to trifle with Baba Yaga does not mean I am afraid of her.
That rumor is stupid.
Just like anyone who trifles with Baba Yaga.
-L
[#]Shadowrun
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MEMO:
You may feel good today, executives, but know that the more you take away from others the less they have to lose. I have seen more than one precipitous fall from heights as lofty as these.
The shadows will be especially busy now.
-L
[#]Shadowrun
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MEMO:
The government of UCAS shut down a Wuxing affiliated Matrix application this weekend. While this is due to pressure from Horizon, the action has struck a nerve and the people are now willingly giving their info to Wuxing’s company network.
Mr. Lofwyr wants a report on how Saeder-Krupp can secure a market share of the outrage by the end of this week.
[#]Shadowrun
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MEMO:
I had a business lunch with two long term shadowrunners who I’ve worked with extensively in the past.
They referred to the upcoming work I have planned for them as “hijinx.”
This may seem unprofessional, but I’ll have you know they also referred to the most costly sabotage campaign in Shiawase history as “an escapade.”
[#]Shadowrun
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⚠️ WARNING ⚠️ :
All employees in Bordeaux please evacuate the physical and astral space surrounding Particle Accelerator B immediately!
[#]Shadowrun
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MEMO:
Medical Staff, please refer all files for European employees being treated for burns in the last 72 hours to internal security. We believe this vehicle containing proprietary technology was being driven by an internal mole. They managed to elude the freelancers who were pursuing them.
[#]Shadowrun
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MEMO:
Reminder, this year’s employee family ski outing is at Grindelwald.
Don’t forget, children under 12 participating in the Downhill Derby must have their demolition sleds at the top of Saxeten by noon. Helmets are required and all sleds will be inspected for non-approved armaments.
The winner gets to meet Mr. Lofwyr to discuss their future!
[#]Shadowrun
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MEMO:
Harlequin, I know you monitor this feed. I know you are sitting on one of my bookshelves at the moment and if you are there when I arrive I will hide you somewhere even you’re afraid of.
-L
[#]Shadowrun
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IRREGULAR ASSETS:
I always get so nostalgic at this time of year. Fond memories of 2050 when my teenage cousin got a Sony CTY-360 cyberdeck and she synchronized the neighborhood lights to blink in such a fashion that a private jet attempted to land in front of her street!
Speaking of, if you have done work for Mr. Lofwyr this past year, your “bonuses”should be arriving by certified courier today or tomorrow.
[#]Shadowrun
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MEMO:
To Security Forces worldwide, some of my peers have taken a shine to metahuman holiday traditions of late and may attempt actions that appear aggressive in that vein. A few years ago Hestaby dropped a fully decorated California Redwood tree onto the parking lot of the office in Cara’sir, for example.
In the event of an unsolicited holiday visit know that they are unlikely to be attacking with lethal force, and you may fire at will. -L
[#]Shadowrun
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MEMO:
For the last time, stop demonstrating armed security drones in the boardroom!
What part of this don’t you people get?! How many times does this have to happen??
[#]Shadowrun
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MEMO:
Be sure to wish a good winter to Brinkman, Hawken, and Stanley as they are submerged in the Lake Baikal Microhabitat until the spring thaw!
The Lake Baikal Microhabitat Project will study the productivity of office work in extreme environments. The findings will be crucial to the design of future underwater, satellite, or volcano-based office environments!
[#]Shadowrun
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MEMO:
A reminder to employees that all the projects you are working on must be completed by the end of the year, despite that date being entirely arbitrary and in many cases impractical.
When it comes to enjoying the festive season or sacrificing your time and health for the good of Q4, Mr. Lofwyr expects you to make the right call.
It’s Q4. There are no more Qs.
[#]Shadowrun
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MEMO:
Remember, it’s not Thanksgiving without ProTaters ™️ from Saeder-Krupp! The rich starchy taste of ProTaters makes any meal/spackling project complete!
[#]Shadowrun
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MEMO:
I will never understand the value metahumans place on “gratitude” and “sharing.”
The best turkey is one that you vanquished in mortal combat, the potato one that you wrested from the very earth, the pie that you scorched in your fiery breath. It is best devoured alone, with nothing but your well earned victory for company!
But, do as you must I suppose.
-L
[#]Shadowrun #thanksgiving
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MEMO:
I know there has been some professional concern about the tragedy that befell that Mitsuhama prospecting team in Madagascar, and that is good to see.
However, Mr. Lofwyr wishes to reiterate that if a team ignores repeated warnings, makes their way through pirate enclaves, chupacabras, and a haunted forest, they deserve everything they get.
[#]Shadowrun
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<>:
An interesting fact about Mr. Lofwyr is that he respects good planning even when it is in opposition to him.
Example: I once saw him destroy a water tower in a rage after some very talented shadowrunners* absconded with a pet project of his. As soon as we were in private he said, “It was well done. They deserved to see me throw a tantrum.”
[#]Shadowrun
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