Toots for GregStolze@mastodon.social account

Written by Greg Stolze on 2025-01-08 at 17:23

Do I get to be smug about quitting the FB/Meta shitshow a decade ago +/-? Is that permitted?

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Written by Greg Stolze on 2024-10-21 at 12:27

[#]coffeesostrong it can move a futon mattress up a flight of stairs, unaided, without swearing

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Written by Greg Stolze on 2024-10-13 at 02:00

No, the problem with a Civil War TODAY is this:

https://purplestatesofamerica.org/

It’s not going to be a tidy division between “here, the wholesome Red states” and “there, the hellish Blue states,” it’s going to be NEIGHBORHOOD BY NEIGHBORHOOD.

So before you start talking up armed resistance to a Harris win, consider (1) you’re in range of a drone strike right now and (2) how SURE you are that nobody hates you enough to take their shot at you during a four year long version of THE PURGE.

4/4

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Written by Greg Stolze on 2024-10-13 at 01:57

(I’ll also put a pin through the abject silliness of being nostalgic for a political order from a century ago that couldn’t manage to last as long as the first Black president’s career or BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER.)

3/x

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Written by Greg Stolze on 2024-10-13 at 01:55

The vibe I get off these delusional ding-dongs is, they think there’s going to be a massive upheaval in which the streets run with lib’rul blood but, somehow, no one they care about gets hurt.

This seems… naïve? Like, CRAZY DEGREES of naïve?

The first American Civil War was an abject horror shitshow and they didn’t have drones, sarin, or CARS. But more, it was geographically divided, North and South. It sucked, but it was clear.

2/x

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Written by Greg Stolze on 2024-10-13 at 01:52

I gotta vent some thoughts about some right-wing Trumpistas who are rooting for a second Civil War if he loses. (Their thirst for an ethnic cleanse if he wins is an entirely separate matter.)

It feels to me like the people who think they’re ready for a civil war are the same assholes who had doomsday bunkers prepared “for anything” and then cracked after six weeks of quarantine because they really NEEDED a haircut.

1/x

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Written by Greg Stolze on 2024-09-02 at 14:13

realizing, to my dawning horror, that there is no plausible timeline where my great-grandchildren proudly describe me as ‘a famous shitposter’

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Written by Greg Stolze on 2024-08-29 at 15:22

I am “being told ‘If It Was A Tumor, It Would Hurt All The Time, Not Intermittently’ is good news, actually” years old

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Written by Greg Stolze on 2024-08-28 at 12:36

If green-skinned extraterrestrials came down in flying saucers and did half the damage to Earth that billionaires do, every government on the planet would issue orders to shoot them on sight.

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Written by Greg Stolze on 2024-08-14 at 03:19

TIME TRAVELER: I say! The year 2024!

ME: Yep.

TIME TRAVELER: Do you still have robber barons?

ME: Our rich dudes lean more towards sex stuff.

TIME TRAVELER: ...

ME: I guess you could call them "raper barons."

TIME TRAVELER: ...

TIME TRAVELER: Right, I think I'm going back to 1895 now.

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