10.1.23

Slightly annoyed and on edge the whole day. Probably related to not getting enough sleep. Also dreading three back-to-back hour long Zoom meetings in the late afternoon.

Tried cooking a new dish, from Instagram Reels of all places: Peanut Butter Ramen Soup. Got a little panicky cooking it as I don't have a look of experience with doing Miso-based stuff on my own, but it turned out alright. Hopefully the start of a bigger exploration into cooking with tofu.

9.1.23

Back in the office with AZ. I swear hanging out with them during work makes me less productive, but more creative because it's just fun. Only reason for the commute ngl.

Stuck on Donut tutorial part 7. Forgot how overwhelming all this stuff can be when you're not having the time to invest several hours every day.

6.1.23

I'm excited enough about Gaussian Splatting that it might provide enough motivation to really learn Blender this year

4.1.23

Finally finished It Takes Two with A. Great game, can't recommend enough.

1.1.23

Happy New Year!

Let's hope this one will be better.

30.12.23

Only been noticing how I rely on a second bigger screen and a mouse through the painful experience on doing anything remotely productive without it the past few days.

Man Carrying Thing's recent video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3QQnVOfQFk) is describing my current state of mind really well.

Still need to get my motto party costume and my Schrottwichtel present in order until tomorrow evening.

29.12.23

It's been a while.

Read Masha Gessen's piece in the New Yorker. Almost comical how she basically foresaw what happened in her case with the Hannah Arendt Prize.

16.2.23

Kind of a meh day. Seems like I'm not gonna be able to turn this week around after the bad start. Though I was able to do most of what I set out to do today, things got pretty stressful in the afternoon with two people basically demanding my full attention asap. Collecting overtime hours again, so I guess I'll take off work early tomorrow. I really believe in the goals of the company I work for, but I don't think staying for long would actually be healthy. After less than a year, I already have multiple areas to juggle by myself with expectations by higher-ups to take on even more. I've already made it clear that this is unsustainable, but more and more I just let deadlines and tasks openly slip instead of killing myself to meet them. I really really like my co-workers, but it's about boundaries. Plans for the weekend are most likely canceled due to A being sick still, but I think I'm content with basically just vegetating for a while.

15.2.23

Okayish day at work, although I slip back into my old habits of leaving too late. Doesn't help that A is still sick so I'm not in my usual routine. Watched the final episode of Severance S01 with A and was basically at the edge of my seat the whole way through. Easily the best TV show I've seen in the few months, can't wait for the next season. Later, A, F and me had a call planning the summer vacation. While I'm looking forward to it, I'm not sure if the constellation really works out. A and F are quite different and the group dynamic could be an issue.

14.2.23

Pretty rough start into the week. Was less productive than I needed to and bungled a meeting I was entering unprepared and rather unexpectedly which means the grown-ups have to do some damage control now. Expected to be berated, but everyone was really understanding, so that helped at least. Still felt out of it for most of the day.

11.2-13.2.23

Pretty long weekend. On Saturday, I went to a theater performance D starred in. Pretty good overall, mainly the acting. The concept was kinda nebulous with the second part going off the rails at times. Stayed at D's flat afterwards, because the way back would have been too long and had breakfast the next day. On Sunday, I travelled to watch the game with friends. I'm watching football maybe three times a year, so I basically know nothing but lucky for me it was actually exciting. It still wrecked my sleep schedule. On the train back on Monday, I was constantly in a weird half-sleep and my podcast selection didn't exactly help that. On the last stretch before getting back to my flat, I witnessed a pretty heavy car accident. I was walking when I heard a loud crash behind my back. As I turned around I caught a glimpse of a car spinning in the air before coming back down to the ground on its roof. It felt incredibly surreal. Called the emergency services immediately, but the guy in the flipped car—he couldn't have been older than 20—got out of it through the tailgate and seemed more shocked than anything. One passenger of the other car was a bit injured, but otherwise everyone seemed to have gotten away with a shock and material damage. The thing that positively surprised me was that everyone who was around when it happened tried to help, I didn't see anyone just gawking. Still, I was certainly shook by the experience. When I finally got home, it took quite a few hours to get out of it.

8.2.23

I do consider the city I live to be pretty ugly, but every time I see the evening sun shining on the skyline, it makes me reconsider this notion for a little while. But not long enough to really change my mind. Long arduous day. It's weird to have basically two bosses and to get chaos and stress from one side and structure and thoughtfulness from the other side. It doesn't help that stress boss wants to mentor me in an area of responsibility I remarked was lacking a clear vision and now that they give feedback I am fundamentally opposed to they way they want to shape it. But because I remarked on it, they always focus on their year-long expertise in conversations. Well. This too shall pass.

6.2.23

Got off from work at 5:30 pm and it wasn't completely dark, what a difference it makes! I did get some stuff done at work, but didn't feel too productive and unfocused. Maybe it's because the one big project that was on my mind since the start of the year is somewhat up in the air? Listened to the new album by Prinz Pi and felt an eerie resemblance to his last three albums. Pretty sure he knows that he's just writing the same songs over and over again, because the opener has some lines preemptively defending it. In the evening, A and I met up and had dinner at a vietnamese restaurant. Great food, but ate a bit too much, so I was barely motivated to do yoga, but I kept the streak alive anyway.

5.2.23

Grey, but somewhat productive day. Finally came around installing the lamp that A bought from Ikea a few weeks ago. Procrastinated doing it because of my (imo very healthy) discomfort with electricity. Bought a voltage tester to make sure I actually got the right circuits. Did chip my nail during the lamp assembly, but other than that everything worked out pretty smoothly. I also spent some time cleaning my desk and tending to the plants. In the late afternoon, I got around to continuing the yoga streak (day 3!). Today, it was a lot harder than the prior days, even though the session was shorter.

4.2.23

Chill saturday. Had breakfast and did some morning yoga (day 2!). I'm bad with getting routines to stick, but the effects are definitely noticeable. Around noon, A and I went into the city center for errands. Had some matcha milk tea and A ended up buying a few new clothes. We also checked out a big asian supermarket that was pretty overwhelming. I usually stay away from the city center on the weekend, because it's always crowded, but it was not that bad overall. Texted a bit with D after seeing her share an article in her instagram story and found out that she's now doing freelance work for a local newspaper. Pretty excited for her! In the evening, A made a chicory gratin and we watched two episodes of cunk on earth.

3.2.23

Started the year with the intention to spend less time working and/or thinking about work, even though I appreciate most aspects of it because it kinda overtook everything else in my life. This week I noticed that I had already been above my overtime limit, so I took off most of today. Used the time to clean and organize the flat, something I've neglected the past weeks. Did Yoga for the first time in like a year and really felt it in the muscles, I'm pretty out of shape. Waited until February to get back into fitness things to not be one of those people who make it their new year's resolution, I think it is setting yourself up for failure. Hope I'll keep at it.