text/gemini; lang=en
# Have an A1 day
Jealous of everyone who missed out on the endless stream of utterly boring April Fools jokes on IRC which were boring me to tears. I was crying bone. đ©»
Good Friday used to be the boringest day of the year but now itâs Aprilâs Fools Day. A day thatâs an insult against comedy and taste. Every yawn-inducing bore-fest trite done-to-death over-templated clumsy cruel prank can go die in a sawmill.
âYawn-inducingâ is too charitable a word for these soul-grinding, suffocating, self-owning, sulphur-whiffed stunts, these pain-by-numbers pitiful parroted pratfalls.
* âLol [thing] is now about [opposite thing]â
* âLol we are gonna switch to discordâ
* âLol Iâm gonna quit my showâ
* âLol Iâm gonna kmsâ
Thank God for inventing time so it finally became April second in UTC. Every day, 364 days a year, when I wake up I thank the Lord the highest and the vinegar tasters and the imams and rabbis and the pebbles and trees that itâs not April first. And then once a year I wake up and I cry and cry and cry, because itâs the day when creativity gives way to cruelty, wit gives way to waste, taste gives way to testing my god-damned-patience with every lying little word that comes out of your mouths and keyboards.
I want to dedicate my life to poetry so I can, in the future, better express the full width of my unending hatred of not only this âholidayâ but every single joker individually. For it burns with the temperature of four-hundred and ninety-three thousand, two-hundred and eighty suns.
My heartfelt thanks to all yâall who did not participate.
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