12:21

Love opening my notes and forgetting what I was about to type.

People around me just talk about superficial stuff, it feels disappointing. Unfortunately the only escape I have is to be on my phone and try to read something that picks my interest. I still need to find some book to read/improve my writing. I've got an idea of what story to write.

14:28

My bad habit of picking my teeth/gum is taking it's toll. Although it sorta helps a bit into cleaning them.

I can already tell is going to be a difficult day.

21:11

It is a difficult day, I think I'm going to sleep early today, unless my brain forces me to keep yapping about sad stuff.

When I think of sad things I feel as if I'm wasting away; losing opportunities to do better, maybe. I used to be the kind of person who runs away from negative thoughts, used to loathe them whenever they'd come into my mind because the state of "being sad" was unbearable to me. Nobody ever taught me how to deal with it, what am I supposed to do? Suppressing it just makes it worse as far as I know. Ignoring it is the same.

From my experience searching for possible solutions, people (or chatbots) have told me that I should let it out in a "healthy" way. I've drawn, write, listened to music; attack my closest people out of rage and get in small arguments with them for stupid reasons. You can already tell what's the actual best way to do so here. I wouldn't say it always work, but now that I'm invested in my goal to improve my writing and writing everyday, it could be a little easier to rage/act as a depressed loser with no ambitions and goals in their life without consequences. (Also no money, but that's a different topic) And let's not talk about the fact that I slept only 3h today. You could say I got used to this despair feeling, I'm not sure if this is okay, but I'm certain it's different from having awful meltdowns.

23:51

I've resolved to use a desktop mate to feel a little less lonely. Besides I can't watch my brainrot content in peace because my ISP is being awful today.

I've been having a lot of insomnia and it's taking a toll. I'll try new methods to lie down tonight.

Is embarrassing how much I delay replying to people who genuinely seem to worry about me. Not because I hate them, but because I have a strange habit to just not reply unless they're a very important person to me. I don't even give that privilege to my own family.

01:25

On making beermoney:

I don't know why would this be useful for anybody, but the only sites that have worked for me so far are:

-Firefaucet

-Pawns

-Sproutgigs

-Apps from Givvy