like i dont listen to myself ever, i never do what i need to, im always selfsabotaging, i hate myself, why is she like this, why doesnt she ever listen. who does she think she is.

i hate myself

And i say that again and again like its gonna make anything better

i hope someones seeing this

i post this here because...

i have some hope someones listening

and i cant trust any of my friends to listen to me

i dont think they care about me

im

i feel like such a waste

like so much \

i dont know

this is stupid and angsty but it needs to be said. one day i will care morea bout other things, and not be so selfabsorbed maybe

i feel so stifled, i hate myself so much

i hate her i hate her i hate her

i wish i was better but i dont know how to be when it feels like i have no energy ever, i never get anything done, i just rot

i wish i could take responsibility but nothing ever works

i hate this

can you give me the strength

give me the strength to do what i need to

to keep on going without using substances

to not indulge so much that it hurts me

like

make my will strong anf my motivation high

and my stamina great and my knees strong

i want to be able to kneel for long hours

i want to not self sabotae

i dont know where to go

im so frustrated, i feel like i can never change.

Lord help me, i cant, chaaaaaaaange,

but im not a free bird :/

i feel like nothing that comes from my mouth or my fingers is ever any good anymore

i dont know how to be good at doing ANYTHING

i dont know how to get anything done, i despise myself beyond belief, im scared of everything so much when i know i shouldnt be.

i take pride in stupid things and always waste my time, im despicable

i know people like me and stuff, im sure im plenty likable

likeable

but IIII dont like me

im so unreliable, im such a cow

hate myself

i have such little faith that ill ever be better and i know thats foolish but i just feel so lost

if youre reading this im thankful for you

i dont think we will reach each other but i want to believe i can feel the weight of your eyes and thoughts grounding me

we may never meet, and i cant say i love you. but your curiosity is cute, stick around a little wont you?