today is not great

im not sure what im feeling about today but it isnt great

two nights ago i had a dream that my wife and i got covid

i think more than anything it was because i dont want to return to work

one night ago last night in fact i dreamt about my friend

and he told me his parents abused him as a child and i never knew

and something else he told me but i dont remember it now im awake

but it was a weird dream a disconcerting dream for a fact

and i dont know what to make of it or of my mood today

its been raining all day it started yesterday afternoon

it was really very hot and humid and then we heard thunder

we were in joanns looking for yarn

my wife is making things for our friends baby

i decided to try to make a blanket

i got gray yarn a pound of it and went home and looked up a pattern

it came out of a book and i began

blankets it turns out are very much work and i didnt even make a row

i will work more on it when i get home today

but really all i want to do is lay at home and watch avatar

and maybe drink more daiquiris which is where i think my downfall came yesterday

i had many of them and my wife did too but she can hold them better

phone calls today were strange and frustrating

i havent wanted to be here at all today and i am not sure exactly why

i have just over another hour here and then im going home

and eating probably and then who knows sleeping

yes and then it all again day by day is all i can do now

covid has flattened it all out

but today is my sisters birthday and im happy for her for that

i will call her when i get home though i didnt get her anything

maybe she wont get me anything either

we have an understanding that way

we wear these things so much we forget each others faces

a coworker said and also mentioned the governor keeping us on phase 2

for the time being and possibly taking us backward to one

which i am in favor of to be perfectly honest