Parallels

Some things related to my experiences of being a trans woman, experiences i feel parallel another area of my life: one which should be a source of joy, but is actually a source of painful exclusion for me. No, i won't elaborate here; the situation is difficult enough as it is.

• i wasn't designated female at birth, but after many years of introspection within a pro-feminist, anti-patriarchal framework, i started identifying as a woman, despite being keenly aware that many/most people would say i'm not really a woman.

• Trans women have often been said to be ‘colonising womanhood’, i.e. engaging in cultural appropriation, if not being part of a fifth column for patriarchy and patriarchal male culture.

• Trans women regularly feel under pressure to ‘prove’ that they're a woman, even to other trans women. This is despite often having gone through various gatekeeping processes, to be able to access necessary hormones or surgery.

• Trans women who haven't gone through a gatekeeping process / started taking hormones / had surgery are considered by many people to not yet ‘really’ be women, regardless of the fact that there might be significant obstacles to doing these things. It's considered irrelevant that most women and afab people in your circles are comfortable with you regarding yourself as a woman.

• It doesn't matter what you do, there will always be significant numbers of people who will assert that you're not a woman, and that there's nothing you could ever do to change that.

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