This was a conversation I had over text with my dad. I want to have it written down, to revisit it easily.

1/12/2025

Me: Where would the inspo for your weekly zines come from?

Dad: Homie. Holy shit

Dad: Inspiration came from everything else. I kept doing new things and processing my feelings through that medium. Like all art for me, the creation of it usually came from a question I couldn't answer. I used the process of zine making to work through ideas I didn't understand

Dad: I suppose that therapy holds this for most folks, but I didn't have that, so I ran those feelings through my art process. Zine making was just the most effective for the ideas I was most commonly working through at that time

Me: That makes a lot of sense. Who were you giving them to? Also how many did you print?

Dad: I gave them away to everyone i ran into. I would print 100 black and white, sometimes more though. Just depended

Me: Ahh I see. Were you ever giving them to shops to hand out?

Dad: Yep. Here and there a few spots would get five or ten copies to pass out

Me: Yeah that checks out. Any of those places still around?

Dad: Not really. That was almost 15 years ago if you can believe it.

Dad: I was doing my zine thing from 2006-2015

Dad: 2010-2015 was the DFLm

Dad: More or less

Dad: thedfl.tumblr.com

Me: Thats crazy

Me: You should bring it back for part 2

Dad: Many of those issues are me working through subjects I could not understand with my current situation. So much has changed. Maturing is part of every person's life. I'm sure my artistic instincts will return to me in new ways every chapter. Right now I put them to work by leading a company. It's so hard for me to be inspired when I am so actively using that part of my mind at work

Dad: It was a lot more important to me to make art when my job involved so little creative thought. Delivering pizzas wasn't much of a cognitive lift.

Dad: Sometimes I fantasize about taking a super basic job and giving myself back to painting. We all just rely on my earning power so much, that it stays a fantasy for now

Me: I hope you're able to return to it soon

Dad: This is a very hard chapter, but I rest knowing I am providing a good life for mom and you guys. That is far more important to me.

Me: Thank you. Your happiness is important too ya know !

Dad: I know. Im happy enough. Hard problems bring a sense of accomplishment. Never would I have thought back then that I would be here now. Who knows where the future will take me

Me: Real talk

Me: I love you !

Dad: I love you too

~END~

My thoughts:

I remember when we lived at my grandmas house, my moms and dads room (the basement) had this space off to the side of their bed area. This is where my dads "office" and "art studio" was. I remember watching my dad paint here, and working on projects here with him. Most weeks, my dad would drag me and my sister out to our local FedEx to copy zines. Sometimes I would help fold and staple the zines, and I would accompany him at times when he would hand them out.

There was a time when I was 8 or so, that we visited the city museum as a family. I was sitting on a bench with my dad, resting. When we went to get up, I saw that my dad had left a zine behind. I grabbed it, and ran to him yelling "Dad! Dad! You dropped this!" He said, "No, leave it there. I left it there on purpose." I returned it, with confusion.

10 minutes later, It wasn't there any longer. The confusion turned into some sort of sense of pride.

A lot of my earliest memories of art and the creative process were alongside my dad.

I crave that time in my life. I try to return to it on my own in multiple kinds of ways.

After finally finishing my most recent zine, I wondered how he could do this so often. I struggle to fully finish an 8 page zine within a 2-3 week time span. But he would consistently pump out these 16 paged zines weekly. Hence my first question.

I learned through our conversation how much creative energy gets moved around in our lives, getting put to other things that take priority. Not some sort of of off/on switch, but more so a paint brush you dip once a day.

I look forward to fully fledging out my own creative process.